So here I am, a Cambridge man:
Our boat ran out of luck
Our dreams have all gone down the pan
Although we rowed like the powerful, young and virile athletes that we are.

The Oxford guys just inched ahead;
The umpire was unfair:
He ordered us to row aside -
We lost our rhythm there.

And once you're on a losing streak
You just can't help but lose
So, out of puff, not strong enough,
We got the Boat Race Blues.

Dejected, knackered and pissed off
We threw our boat away,
And headed back to Jesus Green
For beer and a good lay.

[If you want to read the smut verse, you'll have to say please.]

Tags: boat race, doggerel, poetry